A lot of thoughts now. Currently having a conversation which i feel is not needed, but there is just the need to clarify certain things. it have come to a point where both parties are unsure about how each other feels about the other. i dont really know what to say. Throughout this long journey of having to be put in doubt, to be always be the one making wild guesses and picking up pieces of my own heart, I am really exhausted. i dont know what i am feeling anymore. i dont know what exactly have been happening anymore. I don't want to hold another hand because i am afraid if one day it gets left behind again i will feel the same pain. I'm lying if i say that i don't anymore, because i do. Every time something good happens I think of you to share it with and every time something bad happens, you're the one i want to share my tears with because i know you know me more than i know myself. If one day we happen to walk different ways, I wish you well.

You don't know how much it pains me to be typing this, because i never thought we had to part.